I.A.Q's (Infrequently Asked Questions) - Part 1

Ok. You know F.A.Q's?

Frequently asked questions will usually comprise of boring, sensible questions that people need to know the answers to.

That's just boring.

Hence, I asked people I know to ask me the most ridiculous, stupid, pointless questions they could think of so instead of having an F.A.Q's section I could have some all together pointless I.A.Q's (infrequently asked questions).


Unfortunately, I didn't really consider how strange people are...and so ended up with so many question I've had to split my answers to them down into 2 sections. Section 1 incoming. Deep breaths. Here we go.

If people could talk to spiders, do you still think they'd be scared of them?

Well, this very much depends on the voice spiders would have. In my head these spiders are all talking like super villains, mono-logging about how they are going to destroy the world...if that's how they'd speak...well it wouldn't do much  to ease fears. However, what if these spiders are all speaking in squeaky high voices about how much they love ice cream and bouncy castles? Well that's a different matter. Next questi....wait, what? What do you mean I have to have an answer? Let's say yes. Because...well...yes. 


Could I beat Robin Van Persie (Dutch football/soccer player) at swingball?

Yes. I was chatting to him earlier about swing-ball (as you do) and he was saying he's awful at it. So unless you don't have any arms you should be able to beat him at the very manly game of swing-ball  Oh and play violently. I can think of nothing funnier than R.V.P having to go to training the next day and saying "Oh sorry, I got injured during a particularly aggressive game of the kids game swing-ball".   

What was Albert Einsteins favourite disco tune? (Seriously where are people getting these questions from?)

I've never really had Einstein down as a disco guy...I believe he played the violin. Violins are high pitched...logical progression...he'd probably be a big fan of the Bee Gee's. A violin has four strings. Is there a Bee Gee's song with a four word title? YES! 'You Should Be Dancing' would have been Albert Einsteins favourite disco tune. Dance Albert dance. Pure logic there. Big Al would be proud. 

Disclaimer: I very much doubt Einstein would be proud...more likely he'd give me a condescending look for referring to him as 'Big Al' and then put me in my place with a ridiculously clever put-down. 



Have you ever broken your piggy bank in an incident involving an out of tune piano and a sausage dog? (Hey, I said 'INfrequently asked questions!'

No.

Although I did once break my piggy bank in an incident involving an out of tune piano and an under-cooked hot dog. 


Right. That's section 1 out of the way. If you think you have some good answers to these questions please write these down and email them to me at iainboswell@gmail.com   I'd like to see responses. Now if you'll excuse me I now have an image of a super villain spider with a twirly moustache in my head and I think I need a lie down.

Thank you

Iain jb

PART 2: http://lifeisorganisedchaos.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/iaqs-infrequently-asked-questions-part-2.html